The cost of freedom is something usually associated with war.
But what I am writing about, well, this is a different battle. There is no bloodshed or lives lost.
There is, however, a loss of value in each person’s life. There is a loss of creativity, contentment, and connection. There is time spent and wasted in worry, concern, and unrest.
This happens when people don’t know their value, stand for their value, or live their values.
Living our values is easier said than done.
When there is little at stake, living our values is a piece of cake. But what happens when it is family, spouse/partner, or loved ones? Or what happens when there is money involved or even your reputation?
To avoid fighting, fear can justify remaining quiet. Quietly suffering. Yet oh so loud and deafening in the mind.
The mind.
Filled with stories and justifications to pretend. Pretending all is okay even when it isn’t.
I have often carried around the weight of unresolved conflict, unexamined issues, limitations in relationships, and living in ignorance.
Yet, learning to address this very thing, has created more freedom (in the shortest time) over any other skill I have developed.
It wasn’t always this way and it doesn’t mean this has been easy.
In the past, fear got the best of me, and worry was a constant companion. Wasted time spent in stress.
I didn’t know what to say and often suffered. I held in my true feelings and thoughts, thinking it was a noble sacrifice. That I was somehow protecting the relationship, yet I was stunting growth, my growth.
Fear is great at justifying.
In the past, when I was afraid of changes in my organization, when I wanted to change my direction with a newfound clarity in my life, or there was turbulence with the team, I tried to moderate. I was a mediator.
Other times, I didn’t speak up because I felt addressing an issue could damage a relationship, lose an employee, hurt compensation, or just be too hard to face.
I’ve even made it harder on others by waiting too long. I made it harder being that middleman trying to sweep things under the rug rather than address them. Asking people to just move on, just get along (without a conversation), yet I delayed the inevitable.
Anything less than direct communication, anything less than being true to our Soul Purpose, anything not aligned with our deepest desires and creation, will delay fulfillment.
Why the delay? Because some conversations are hard to have. Because letting go can seem risky. Because we enter new territory without all of the answers or certainty about the outcome.
Familiarity can breed mediocrity.
Before we take a leap or have a conversation, it is easy to think of the worst-case scenario or justify why we think silence is the nice thing to do, or that our opinion doesn’t matter, all in the name of peace.
It is easier to place blame than take responsibility.
But without responsibility, we lose prosperity.
The more we wait, the more we justify delay, the more internal programs and conversations run in the background and slow us down. It takes up real estate in our minds and diminishes our power.
I’ve assessed hard conversations at the moment they were happening. Thinking, Wow, this isn’t ideal, but why is this something I fear or delay so long?
Almost all of them were less difficult than I imagined, the hardest part was bringing it up.
Most of the energy came from the stories and imagination of what could go wrong. Mostly from a fear of abandonment. This was something formed long ago, but unaddressed and would consistently create a mess in my life.
The fear of not being able to handle or resolve the issue, anger, or potential outburst and losing the relationship all triggered my fear of abandonment.
Now, there is intelligence in processing things before having emotional outbursts, but delaying for too long leads to suppressed emotions, depressing our energy, and robbing us of our richest life.
Over time, I have learned that writing gave me access to courage, clarity, and power.
Writing, just for myself, allowed me to experience my emotions, understand those emotions, and stick to what I was feeling, rather than making accusations or inflating the situation with anger.
“When you said _____, when you did_______ I felt…”
Instead of, You did this or you did that because…”
Before writing (and re-writing my thoughts), instead of a win-win, I would accept something less than ideal to “smooth things over” in order to avoid difficult conversations.
This has had a direct impact on my life, my health, and even my wealth.
When I write, I get all my feelings out. Some of this is absurd and not accurate or true, but I still write it to let go. Rather than suppressing or holding onto unhealthy thoughts, I write to release them.
Then I re-write.
But this time, I take out anything accusatory and stick to my feelings AND where I can take responsibility.
If we are unable to take responsibility for our part, we don’t learn the lesson. We inflate the situation and prolong the problem.
We become victims.
Sometimes it is hard to assess and see our victimhood. It is easier to blame others. To pout or remunerate on the reasons that vilify others.
It’s. Not. Your. Fault.
Four words to remove responsibility. It isn’t about fault, it is about responsibility.
This can be a helpful four word phrase to deal with our childhood, but not so much adulthood.
Where can you be responsible?
That is what is required for progress. This is what releases the mind from the bondage of blame.
Someone lied to you.
Someone was mean to you.
Someone offended you.
Someone stole from you.
Hard to see where you can take responsibility?
We can take responsibility for our actions, reactions, thoughts, and emotions if we want to be free.
How important is freedom to you?
What would it feel like to be free of the worry, stress, and destruction of sacrifice, delay, and harboring resentment?
Will we allow someone to steal our happiness, our enjoyment of life, and our ability to create?
Look, people have stolen my content.
Sure, my content inspires some people to build which is amazing and the intent. Yet others simply copy and paste or worse, just put an audiobook on Audible and take the profit (this happened with What Would The Rockefellers Do).
It even happened with Robert Kiyosaki. My first book, Killing Sacred Cows, about 9 financial myths showed up with Robert’s name called Shooting Sacred Cows: The 8 Financial Lies.
Instead of being a victim, I did send a cease and desist to protect my property, but then I reached out to create a three-part promotion/collaboration leading to hundreds of thousands of dollars of profits.
So, no matter what has happened to you, there can be ways to heal. Sometimes that might be a letter, a letter and a conversation, or even forgiving yourself.
Recently I have written a few letters before having conversations. These were all very important relationships in my life.
I meditated and talked to my mentors and wife multiple times before writing. Then I rewrote and revised until the tone came from love and responsibility. I asked for their perspective and to contemplate a few things before we talked.
These led to profound conversations and results. It released the pain, it created a new future, and it allowed me to feel energized.
Without the letter and conversation, I was caught in the trap of the mind.
When I think about the past, when I waited too long I suffered too much. Holding onto the frustration created thoughts of scarcity, which created bitterness and anger because I didn’t act.
Because I justified away stewardship.
People deal with difficult circumstances, much worse than theft.
More extreme examples.
Divorce.
Disease.
Death of a loved one.
Sometimes our past can hold us back and cloud the future. Worrying rather than communicating. Complaining rather than creating.
This is a true theft of our freedom.
This is the battle.
The battle of responsibility.
The battle of change.
The battle of the mind.
The battle of the next chapter, the new game, or a new vision.
It can be hard to let go of what we already know, but then we become captive to what we have been rather than what we could be.
It can be hard to learn the full lesson from our experiences. Pain can cause protection mechanisms that prevent freedom. Blame blinds us from learning as well.
At times we learn the wrong lessons. We learn it is dangerous to trust.
At times we may feel like everything is a zero-sum, take-all-you-can, competitive game. This is the fuel for exhaustion and the barrier to freedom.
Freedom can be extremely inconvenient.
It may mean letting go of our perceived safety.
It may require being uncomfortable.
It may require letting go of what you know.
It may be addressing someone that labels you in a limiting way or intimidates you or doesn’t treat you well.
Freedom can mean moving on from what you have been doing to live your Soul Purpose.
To be fully congruent with what you were born to do.
To what speaks to your soul and inspires you to create.
But this may come with fear. With excuses of what needs to happen first.
When I chose to stop selling life insurance in 2005 or 2006, I lost my renewals. But I gained the ability to write books, do radio and podcasts, and speak my mind without the ceiling and limitation of getting every word approved beforehand.
It was hard to let go. It wasn’t always smooth or as profitable initially, but I felt more fulfilled. I had the energy to handle the fluctuations and delayed compensation.
It wasn’t the last time it would happen.
Selling my business in 2021 was a bit easier than letting go of my renewals. It helped that I was getting cash flow from Wealth Factory rather than a lump sum.
It has helped to see the business grow as well.
But taking the leap in 2005/2006 also gave me evidence to make the next major change.
Actions that create freedom are like a muscle, the more it is worked, the stronger it becomes.
Avoidance and excuses remove the possibility of freedom.
Staying in something that no longer serves you beyond the paycheck, robs you of freedom. Robs your power, your energy, and your value. All in the name of safety and security.
The only security is your Soul Purpose.
Wealth is beyond numbers on a spreadsheet or in a bank account. It is how you live, how you love, and being fulfilled.
You hold the pen, you choose your adventure. What do you want? What matters the most? Where would you like to go?
Freedom requires courage.
Freedom requires stewardship.
Revenue requires stewardship.
Shit, money, business, and art require stewardship.
The more impact and reach you have, the more stewardship is required.
This means, in terms of wealth, where can you be a steward, and what can you allocate time and energy to in order to produce results?
If you are too busy to handle important conversations or invest in yourself or determine your winning game, you lose.
No amount of money or net worth or accolades can mask feeling unfulfilled.
What does success mean to you?
will it take for you to be free and successful?
The tyranny of success usually comes with the myth of sacrifice. Sacrificing today for an unknown future.
When we go for more at all costs, we often get so busy there isn’t time for much else.
This leads to fatigue. Fatigue can lead to sloppiness in all areas of life.
When I take on too much, I end up missing important details or delaying important conversations.
Create space. Do what matters and let go of the rest.
Being over-committed, exhausted, or too busy leads to expenses.
Pay the price now, or pay the price later with confusion and the mess that comes from a lack of clarity.
What would you have to stop doing to have more time for yourself?
What are you doing that doesn’t represent who you want to be moving forward?
What are you holding onto that is holding you back?
Where have you lost your power in relationships and people please or instead of using your voice?
Where do you succumb to fear?
Freedom isn’t easy.
What do you have to let go of to know the truth of who you are?
Where have you placed your identity in your past rather than in creating your future?
What conversation could you have that would impact your future the most?
What do you worry about that you have yet to act on?
What emotions hold you back, frustrate you the most, and impact how you view the world?
Write it.
Speak it.
Live it.
Or be held captive by it.
It is either your freedom or lack thereof.
This requires courage, forgiveness, and love. To love yourself enough to stand for your value. To love others enough to be honest with them.
To have the courage to face what most people let hold them back.
To forgive your mistakes and the mistakes of those you care about the most.
Restore trust, and power, and find clarity.
