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Forgiveness can be difficult. The more that is at stake, the higher the emotion, the more conflict we have faced, the more conflicted we may feel.
As hard as it may be to forgive those for whom we feel pain, anger, resentment and regret, it is often harder to forgive ourselves.
If we hold onto these emotions, it can cloud our life and our judgment and block our vision, our very happiness. Difficult circumstances can become our excuse forever. It can lead to fear and worry that stunts our growth and minimizes our mindset.
I’ve been there. Recently. I’m still working through it today.
Life Has Moved Fast
Life has moved fast these last few years. There has been so much change, plenty of challenges, and even scarcity:
- Selling a company I founded,
- owning the mistakes of the past,
- moving houses,
- one of my best friends got married and moved,
- doing two comedy tours,
- filming a comedy special,
- launching a new business,
- releasing two books and rewriting two others,
- and kidney disease.
I had a great time filming a comedy special (now on Amazon Prime), but the two nationwide comedy tours required a massive amount of work and energy. Then, I let go of a substantial recurring revenue to reinvent my business and life.
In 2024, there were major changes requiring substantial energy, leading to pain while unwinding two partnerships and dealing with insomnia from my kidney disease.
At the time, I felt like these mistakes defined me, and it left me embarrassed, judging myself harshly. The last quarter of 2024 has been a time of isolation.
Even with all my philosophies and knowledge, I still ended up feeling like a victim burdened by betrayal, regret, and excruciating emotional pain.
Again, embarrassing. Hard to admit.
Yet, I wouldn’t be where I am today without these lessons disguised as struggles. This isn’t something I could understand from a video or a book. These were some of the greatest lessons required to stand up for and know my value.
Choosing a Life Aligned With My Values
My former company no longer represented my values and left me unfulfilled.
I could continue feeling controlled and manipulated, unfilled in exchange for money, or I could live what I teach in Money Unmasked and leave my comfort zone to create the life I love, regardless of financial consequences and emotional repercussions.
It wasn’t an easy choice, but it was the only one where I could create the most value and design a winning, worthwhile game.
My wife supported me throughout. She said we could sell anything and everything if that is what it took—thankfully, that wasn’t required.
I have been vulnerable in the past, and being authentic is key. Often, I’d wait until I was on the other side of a difficult situation and finally share the journey, illuminating the solutions and lessons. It is much harder to share when I’m amid the issue.
I’ve written about my real estate losses in 2008 and the lessons I learned. It led to the discovery of Investor DNA, defining wealth beyond net worth and staying focused on impact and service.
I’ve shared about playing not to lose and staying in my comfort zone at times, following someone else’s plan and game at the expense of my happiness.
The Cost of People Pleasing
I ignored my intuition at my peril.
Intuition is often correct but rarely convenient. I knew what to do all along, but people-pleasing was in my DNA before I did the hard, deep work.
People pleasing was a way to avoid conflict, stifling my voice and compromising my vision, ignoring my values.
I was worried about being liked. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and, therefore, sacrificed my own.
- Worried about others’ feelings more than my own.
- Saying yes when what I meant was no.
- I was stuck in a losing game.
- I sacrificed life.
- Tolerating less than ideal to appease how someone else might feel.
This creates a heaviness; it leads to loss.
Loss of happiness.
Loss of power.
Loss of inner peace in the name of keeping the peace.
I wanted to be a “good” boy.
A good teammate.
But at the expense of being fully expressed and loving life.
This created stress on my kidneys.
There was a cost. A cost limiting my overall impact.
Yet, I’m an exponentially better consultant based on these experiences and these lessons. Were these actually mistakes or stepping stones on the path of discovery? If stuck in judgement and regret, they feel like mistakes and those emotions block the lesson and limit our personal power.
Another way to view our experiences: Mistakes don’t make you less lovable, they make you human, even if it may not feel that way in the moment.
Lessons From Each Decade
In my 20s I was led by greed. Getting involved in speculative investments: Real estate, hard money lending funds, IPOs, oil and gas, starting too many businesses too quickly (at the expense of leisure). All in the name of more. But more of what?
Respect?
Reputation?
Without a clear vision and plan, more is the only answer. Bigger, better, faster….
Again, without that experience, I wouldn’t have the insight to write Money Unmasked. I wouldn’t have gained the knowledge to help my clients navigate the chaos of their investments and establish rules and boundaries for their lives.
Because of my misguided ambition, I learned to celebrate the wins along the way but had yet to learn about being a leader. The areas I had yet to accept myself, be myself, or trust myself led to an insatiable appetite for being liked.
I was more focused in my 30s. Time for my family. Investing in my marriage and my sons. This initially led to a much better decade in my 30s. I grew my business, wrote books, and grew my company.
As it grew, it was exciting. I still made mistakes, different mistakes. Hiring an expensive consultant with whom I didn’t share the same values This diminished my excitement for a while.
I felt controlled and focused too much on profit and was being asked to be something I wasn’t. This diminished my energy and limited my purpose. It was over nine months, but it felt heavy and frustrating.
I course-corrected and built an impactful, profitable model, hosting workshops almost monthly, but those became repetitive, and I lost passion. As the decade passed, the goals became more about scale and revenue than impact and purpose.
I gave up more and more control of the company’s key factors, the culture, and the model, and it became less fun. This led to feeling disengaged and disenchanted. My people-pleasing wasn’t effective.
Being a mediator and moderator was exhausting, and now I can see my lack of leadership—painful.
So, the first half of my 40s, I had to learn a valuable lesson and make tough choices. It was time to mature, value myself, stand up for myself, and create something aligned with my values. This wasn’t an easy choice.
I wanted to care for the clients, but the company’s values were not mine.
I ruminated on the issue, leading to a massive amount of stress. So I sold the company. I started doing comedy as a way to release creativity, challenge myself, and fulfill something I had dreamt about since I was five years old.
Finding Purpose Through Creation
Preparing for the comedy special was one of the best five months of my life. That night was magic. Sharing with friends, family, and clients. It was an act of creation that sparked possibility, fun, and a way to overcome insecurities.
But this wasn’t my life or purpose moving forward. The comedy tours were fun but a grind filling the venues. And comedy clubs weren’t a place of transformation and impact. Traveling to these venues wasn’t as fulfilling and not my ultimate purpose.
It was a steppingstone to my favorite creation of all. I took time to write a one-man show, a theatrical keynote. It is the most transformational, challenging, and exciting thing I have done.
I’ve added a musical score to this performance, and it takes the crowd on an emotional ride. It is an instruction manual for life, especially my life.
Each seeming mistake was a lesson to grow, to find my way, and to live my purpose. Dealing with my kidneys led me to incredible modalities and healing. I’m the most fit I’ve been in my life, and that wouldn’t have happened without the experience.
I’ve introduced clients and families to the protocols and nutrition, forever changing their lives, too—a blessing in disguise.
The deep work I have done is something I have referred hundreds of people to, changing their life. Some do 1-1 Cash Cabin Immersions with me, others are referred to therapists to do MDMA somatic therapy by other practitioners. The results have been outstanding.
Each painful moment led me to relationships, lessons, and breakthroughs I can now share. This has a lasting impact on someone’s life, their legacy.
The key is to learn from the past rather than be captivated by it. The key is to ask for support and invest in ourselves to see past our blind spots. To heal from the judgments that hold us captive and diminish our dreams and vision.
If we don’t learn, we feel like victims and limit our value. And most people don’t make the same mistake twice; they make it dozens of times. But it is best not to repeat the mistakes and learn the lesson early. Otherwise, it becomes bigger and more painful.
Are you bold enough to face your fears, heal the past, and be the best version of yourself? Do you have the courage to charge forward with all the power that can create substantial value and create the life you love?
It is perspective. We can live with regret and bitterness or see everything as lessons.
Taking Responsibility and Moving Forward
The key to healing and moving forward comes with responsibility.
By taking responsibility, you can move forward.
You can harvest the lessons and share.
You can forgive yourself and those who have hurt you (even if you love them from a distance).
You can love someone and not like them.
Before I could see the value of creating Multiplier, or be the leader of the community, I had to do the work. The work that led to being more authentic, making connections that could add even more value.
Prosperity Is Not a Do-It-Yourself Game
This is not a game of isolation. Isolation leads to hard work, but often the wrong work. That work can come at the expense of the lesson and of our health, our family, and the life we love.
Are you willing to be vulnerable, tell the truth, and grow? How do you do that? Do you have a community that is congruent with your values, that positively challenges you, and gives you the support so you feel seen and heard?
Vulnerability, trust, safe space, breakthrough, and connection. Living these values meant I had to trust in myself, to trust in God. That everything happens for me instead of to me. That pain is a gift, even when we hate the wrapping.
That is what Multiplier represents.
Prosperity is not a do-it-yourself game. It is not a financial plan or mutual fund. It is a process, a mindset, and a way of being. It is a discovering, a remembering, of your Soul Purpose. A cultivator of vision and value.
If you find yourself isolated, in pain, working harder than you want, feeling guilt and shame for not taking care of your health or creating enough time and space for your family—YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Pain is a message that it is time for something different. A better way. For me, pain gets me to contemplate and adjust. Pain gets me to meditate, talk to my wife, hire mentors, and grow.
This is your lifeline. I am here for you. Sharing my humanity in my mistakes, lessons, and triumphs. I have your back.
If this resonates, join this tribe. If you want to expand your joy and move beyond what is holding you back, get outside perspective, ask for support, and grow your wealth and yourself.
In prosperity,
Garrett Gunderson
