The “Mores” that Matter

 

And what is the process for creating it? Or sustaining it?

 

How much does wealth have to do with our financial statements versus how we feel, how we live, what we do—and especially what we don’t have to do?

 

Wealth is in the in between.

 

In between our ears, certainly.

But also in between the events, the busyness that robs wealth.

Wealth happens in the moments and space of life. In fun. In fulfillment. In freedom.

 

Freedom of choice.

Freedom of time.

Freedom to live where you want.

Freedom to work with who you want, when you want.

Freedom to provide, to create, and to take a trip without feeling (or worrying about) the financial effects.

 

Some people step from moment to moment, event to event, with the inconvenience and effort draining life. Doing too much on their own to save money at the expense of time and energy.

 

However, those with resources can focus on efficiency and become more effective. As I am around the wealthiest people, I see that they have more support. This creates leverage of their greatest gifts and value.

 

The team matters.

 

Those who have a great team have earned ways to focus on the most productive things. And for the truly wealthy, this means finding time to enjoy life along the way. (Some just do more work even though they rarely, if ever, enjoy the fruits of their labor).

 

Some of the richest people rarely have a free moment or time for themselves because it is all about MORE. They work to fill a void from earlier years with money, accolades, and net worth. Hoping to have respect or prove themselves or relieve their pain.

 

But this doesn’t mean they are fulfilled.

 

From the outside, it may seem this way. But when it is only about MORE, more can destroy relationships, diminishes and discounts wins, and drowns out the special things that money cannot buy.

 

As Coco Chanel famously said,

 

 

You can earn money, but you can also earn happiness, and the path may not always align.

 

When money becomes the reason or excuse for not having time, for not being present, for providing money over memories…when it becomes profits over people or a relentless pursuit at the expense of love, we lose.

 

The good news, it isn’t an either/or.

Money follows value. It chases value.

 

Money doesn’t give a shit about effort. Effort isn’t the key or determining factor.

 

Thinking is hard work.

Hiring people and developing skills can be difficult, but not as difficult as doing everything yourself.

The intelligent adage of smart work and hard work, but not hard and isolated work.

 

Collaboration is the key to value, to prosperity.

Scarcity and the Consumer Condition confuses people, causing them to think labor or time equal money.

Nope. Not really.

 

The hustle culture spouts that we must sacrifice (family, memories, love) to have more money. Again, there are those who earn it by giving up all other areas of life, but that isn’t required. It will hold you back.

 

 

The “mores” that matter.

 

Become more valuable.

Learn to delegate.

Hire those that truly enhance our lives.

 

We trade our money (energy) to access others energy (expertise) in order to free us up…so we can create the most value.

 

This is an energy management equation.

 

What feeds you, what fuels you, what matters to you that impacts others? If you don’t know, you won’t attract great talent to support you.

 

Vision is the container that determines value, and again, money follows value. If you don’t know why you do what you do, what you want to do, and have something that is beyond your reach on your own, you will limit your life, your potential and your wealth.

 

Learn to love, to express love, to bring love to the world and your work. Acknowledge and unlock others to help them grow, so they can feel fulfilled too.

 

If you can’t inspire because you aren’t inspired, it will limit your wealth. If you don’t have the answers, DO THE WORK. Let go of the stories that no longer serve you. Speak wealth into existence. Design your life.

 

Discover what you can commit to.

What you can love (and love to do) with those you love doing it with.

 

How can you create the structure to do what you do best, increase your joy and energy, and be of the most value? You may not have all the answers, so hire mentors. I have multiple mentors. I invest time and money to overcome the blocks, clarify my thinking, meet great people, and save time by investing money to acquire skill.

 

Invest in the discovery of your vision, of your designed life…

 

Personally, I pay attention to that which I pay for.

 

What are you investing in to make your moments better?

 

I no longer want to wait in lines for flights, or wait until the airline wants to go…so I am going to create enough value to charter flights, or buy a plane with some friends. That buys back time, creates convenience so I can deploy my energy into my family, have stops to do in person podcasts or stages, bring clients along for jet set masterminds, invite my family to attend, and more. This can add months back to my life and I can be of more value with those choices and convivence.

 

For example, I just hired a house manager, and she is wonderful. She can do some cooking, run errands, shop, organize and more. Then I can film my podcast, write, be healthier, invest time with key relationships.

 

To me, this is wealth.

Speaking, writing, laughing, filming, growing, time with those I love, and removing the tedious items that other people enjoy doing more than me. To be more present. To be more creative. To have more space.

 

I don’t mow my lawn or clean the house or run operations or create income statements and balance sheets or add the details for systems…I have a team that can handle that. But it is a radically different mindset than doing all I can to grow a bank account by doing it all myself, I focus first on growing myself and growing my energy and skills.

 

The focus is to be of more value.

 

Some will judge what I am writing about.

Some will be triggered by this.

Others would want this, but are worried what people would think of them. What those they love might say about them. They may feel guilt, shame, or that somehow, they should give it to charity instead or that it would make their team resentful.

 

This is all the disease of the mind called the Consumer Condition. We limit what we want to appease those that play the scarcity game. Instead of the game of value, it is the game of scarcity.

 

“You don’t ‘need’ all that,” they might say.

 

I agree, but if you want it that is okay.

 

“Don’t be greedy,” they might say.

 

Well guess what: Not living your best life, not sharing how to do it with others, not being inspired and inspiring in the name of “playing it small and safe” is greedy. The world loses your gifts.

 

Saving.

Scrimping.

Cutting back and cutting out.

 

I used to waste my energy on when to fill a rental car with gas. Wondering if I got a full tank or not and wondering if I did 10 miles out if it would still seem full. Shortchanging myself (the energy and thought) to try to save a buck. Insane.

 

Why not just have the good karma of putting in the fullest tank? Because scarcity occupies our brain with minimizing. Instead of thinking of ways to create more value, we focus on preserving what we have at the expense of being of the utmost value.

 

Obviously, spending more than we make is a terrible choice leading to bankruptcy. Yet by thinking life is something to reduce, and money is something to “save” rather than earn and grow, we limit our potential and our production.

 

The hustle and grind would say save money by doing it yourself. “If you want something done right, do it yourself” …and burn out.

And limit your best abilities.

And have less wealth.

 

Less wealth by doing what you hate.

Less wealth by limiting the depth of your relationships.

Less wealthy by draining energy by doing so much to save by having it be less convenient and losing time.

 

Those who buy into the budgeting mindset are willing to sacrifice life for growing a bank account.

 

And again, each moment of sacrifice has a cost.

The energy spent.

Layovers, early flights, uncomfortable seats…save a buck, drain your energy.

Going without—missing education, tools, and convivences that free up your time.

Taking time to borrow something (driving to pick it up, returning it) instead of buying it and having it delivered.

 

 

You vote with your dollar. Does reducing people’s humanity to a price, a discount, a “hard core” negotiation really make sense? How does it feel when people do that to you?

 

So rather than shrink your expenses, grow yourself. But you have to take a leap of faith in your own discovery, your abilities, and know your value.

 

Do you value yourself?

Do you know how to create the most value?

How does the way you view yourself have to do with how much value you create?

And how much do you value others?

 

As you discover your value, and bring your value to the world, and leverage AI tools to be more efficient, you can have your time be reserved for what matters and being less drained.

 

If I had to shovel the snow, mow the lawn, handle the house maintenance, instead of writing, they would require a massive amount of time and energy, removing the motivation and opportunity to write. Which is of more value? Which brings me more fulfilment?

 

 

If your time isn’t your own, if you are doing things that you loathe, if you are obsessed with saving fiat money (that inflation decimates), if you wish the past were different or only focused on getting to a future date where your life will be better—you aren’t wealthy.

 

At age 29 my net worth was $8 million, but in many ways I wasn’t wealthy. Saying yes to every speaking event without considering my family. Taking on more work than I could handle to keep growing, while deteriorating my marriage and missing out on precious moments with my young sons. Rarely present. I worked my way to the net worth.

 

And all that work, was WORK.  Buying real estate was tedious for me. Ruining vacations. All that work, and I lost all of it in one year. 2008. Gave it all back. And it took years to address the portfolio and unload it. Memories I couldn’t have back, just to lose the money I temporarily gained while gaining weight and getting grey hair. Temporarily rich, not wealthy.

 

You may be rich.

You may have money, but how does it serve you?

What benefit does it bring?

 

Your quality of life matters, your energy matters, your time to yourself and with loved ones matters. And ultimately, if you can’t be present, no matter how much money you have, YOU AREN’T WEALTHY.

 

If you think money will make you happier, it can help. How does it explain why I was so happy in college, dating my girlfriend (now wife), throwing parties with my roommates, and finding joy in playing cards with friends. And I am happy now making money, with millions of dollars in assets.

 

But I wasn’t happy working with some of the partners in my last companies even though I had tons of money coming in. I was bored in the system we built and was limited in creativity. Efficiency without passion, work without love, and being manipulated by those that stood to gain with my ability. YUCK.

 

Money matters, but so do so many other things as well.

 

And I know in 2008, with my cash flow taking a hit with real estate, and my business revenue down, a lack of money can impact happiness and hijack thoughts.

 

No money can lead to massive stress, debt, self-judgment, guilt, shame, embarrassment….

But no matter how much money you have, if you don’t have time to connect with people, cultivate relationships, be creative, have hobbies, have time for your health…fulfillment will be elusive.

 

So what does wealth look like for you?

What matters most in your life?

What would you do if money were no longer a concern or worry, if you had an unlimited checking account?

What would you start doing?

What would you start doing?

How would your thinking change?

 

What would it take to create your richest life? What can you do that matters most to you?  How could you experience a life that you love?

 

The key to wealth is within YOUR answers to these questions. Invest the time. Only you get to decide. If someone else chooses for you, you lose. If you are unclear, you may be manipulated or have energy leaks.

 

This is the hard work worth doing. The hard work that matters. Not pushing through artificial deadlines or doing things you hate to make money. But to know what you want, go for it, and design a life you don’t want to retire from.

 

You can do this.

You deserve this.

It is within your reach.